Cape Cod Trip

= 8th Grade Cape Cod Trip =

The Grace Middle School Cape Cod trip was emblazoned into school lore following the events of the Fart Bomb Offensive, Chauncey's Fart Bomb Retaliation, and the illicit use [https://www.dhs.gov/topic/weapons-mass-destruction#:~:text=A%20weapon%20of%20mass%20destruction,these%20weapons%20to%20harm%20Americans. weapons of mass destruction]. Furthermore, the transformative and historic social occurrences, including the Crown Jewel Incident, Maximo's Birthday Surprise, and Beach Incident of 2019 solidified the school trip as one of the most tumultuous times under the Collet Administration.

Background and Lead Up
As the final quarter of eighth grade was winding down, privileges such as a lack of dress code and limited homework had been invoked, one final trip was planned. Upon boarding the bus on Monday, June 4, 2019, morale was high. As per usual, the atmosphere on the bus was rambunctious, Christine failing to control the overwhelming horde of Grace students. Described by Daniel Hua as an "uproarious 'shitshow,' highlighting the social castes of the Grace Middle School," typical instigators and firebrands capitalized on the chaos to establish their temporary reign. Notorious rabble-rouser, and Boys' Basketball Team starter, Theo Carlson, began to harass the bus driver, José, teachers, and Christine.

The Seating Altercation
Without the express written consent of class leaders, such as President Nicholas T. Brodie and gallant, heroic, yet temporarily injured (during the Breaking of Bones on the Penultimate Week), leader Alex Skrypek, female members of the so-called "Dog Squad" and remaining boys of the clique, George McCain, Jack McCain, and others constructed a seating blueprint. Much to the chagrin of onlooking students and instigators (including, but no limited to, Maximo del Pino, Theo Carlson, Daniel Hua and Robert Rendine), Keredin Samuel, Ariel Benhuri, and George Cheung led a valiant resistance to the fascist attempted establishment of the "Seating Chart." The eventual victors included Keredin, Ariel, George, as well as allies including, but not limited to, Dax Bischof, John McGarry, and Nathaniel Berkman.

The result of the first social skirmish was a resounding "anti-Dog Squad" victory, setting a stringent norm for the remainder of the trip and promoting alternate friend groups as dominant forces.

Overview
"The Fart Bomb Wars" is an informal and generalized term describing three major historical events: the Fart Bomb Offensive, Chauncey's Fart Bomb Retaliation, and Maximo's use of excessive force through chemical warfare against Chauncey Thompson (resulting in significant civilian casualties), all of which contributed to a zero sum game concluding with significant repercussions for both parties. The initial incident began between June 4 and June 5, 2019. Although the exact date and time of the first offensive is unknown, the instigator, Maximo is known, and the weapons supplier, Jackson Jones, is surmised.

Fart Bomb Offensive
Maximo's first foray into enemy territory began with what has come to be described as a "knock-and-toss." Using a primitive form of "bait-and-switch" or "feigned retreat," Maximo posed as either friend or teacher to bait Chauncey into opening his room's door. Upon opening, Maximo tossed in a primed 7.52 x 6.14 x 3.39 inches OBI Individual Fart Bomb Bag, which upon contact with the ground or the internal pressure overcoming the constraints of the foil bag, detonated filling the room with a noxious odor. Following the shock factor of the apparently unprovoked assault, Chauncey quickly mobilized, evacuating his room and planning revenge.

Chauncey's Fart Bomb Retaliation (known to experts as "The Great Retreat of the Del Pino")
Upon acquiring identical bombs to Maximo, presumably from the same weapons dealer, Chauncey infiltrated Maximo's room, planting a OBI Fart Bomb Bag within Maximo's luggage (specifically inside a baseball hat). However, inexperienced with the inner-workings of the device, Chauncey has incorrectly primed the chemical weapon. Instead of allowing trace amounts of fumes to escape through predetermined outlets, the bag was completely crushed. The result was the emergence of a concentrated "fart liquid" which permeated not just Maximo's hat, but his entire luggage and supply of clothing. As Chauncey had way over stepped in Maximo's opinion, Maximo sought to end the retaliatory attacks with one deft strike.

First Known Use of a Chemical Weapon of Mass Destruction (WMD), referred to as the "Del Pino Response"
Utilizing three intentionally incorrectly primed "Fart Bombs," Maximo used a faulty window screen and a mistakenly open window on Chauncey's room to penetrate the stronghold. Upon entry of the three chemical weapons, an immediate foul odor was smelled by the members of the attacked room. Unable to vacate the area due to sheer chaos, they watched in horror as a brown liquid seeped over their clothes, beds, carpet, and covered their wars. Maximo's extensive experience in baseball may have allowed him to put optimal spin on the Bomb Bags, as they barraged the room with droplets of toxic liquid. The results were devastating, leading to the destruction of Chauncey's room, the Surrender of Chauncey, and the need for the Collet Administration to Intervene.

Political Repercussions:
As a result of the Del Pino Response and the destruction of Chauncey's room, the Collet Administration was required to provide a quick solution and mediate peace negotiations between the two parties (it is important to note that the weapons dealer faced no charges). The immediate response was the relocation of Chauncey, and his roommates, to new living quarters. Following that, negotiations began, ending in political stalemate where neither side conceded. However, the overarching repercussions was a stronger rule of law for the remainder of the trip, and a continued animosity between both parties.

Unseen Results:
Maximo's contaminated clothes would play a major role in his failure during Maximo's Birthday Surprise, a consequence that was not immediately recognized following the Fart Bomb Wars.

Additionally, after Maximo's despicable crime, roommate and trusted friend of Chauncey, George Cheung, was forced to lead Maximo around the hotel and kick him into the ground. These acts were not disclosed to the public, but may have lead to del Pino's foolish decision making over the subsequent couple of days.

The "Crown Jewel Incident"
Referred to by historians as a "pivotal moment in Robert Rendine's social life" and by classmates as "fucking... hilarious," the Crown Jewel Incident marked an important series of events involving Sabina Di Pietro and Robert Rendine. The story is as follows: Robert, along with other members of the class, gather in the hot tub and around the pool awaiting the arrival of other students. Robert begins to show obvious signs of distress, seemingly attempting to formulate a profound statement. Upon the entrance of Sabina, Robert blurts out the phrase "hear ye, hear ye, the crown jewel has arrived!" Overtly describing Sabina in a sexual manner, Robert's joke allegedly drew scattered and distant laughs from Daniel Hua, Sadie Goodwin and Dax Bischof, while drawing the ire of the vast majority of the class, especially Sabina, who wanted to "kick Robert in the balls" following the incident.

Maximo's Birthday Surprise
This event took place on Leila Bynum's birthday, estimated to be June 7 (it may be anytime between June 4 to June 9). Upon waking up, Maximo believed the best course of action was to ask Leila to date via text message. Empowered with the knowledge that Maximo's clothing was soiled by Fart Bombs, and possible preexisting notions about the character of Maximo, denied his request, leading to an awkward birthday and remainder of the trip for Leila (as well as Maximo who undoubtably faced humiliation from fellow students).

The Beach Incident of 2019
Notorious for its subtlety and covert nature, the Beach Incident of 2019 proved to be Robert's magnum opus of humiliation during the Cape Cod Trip. Based on witness and first hand accounts of the events that day, Sabina allegedly discovered that as Robert walked past her on the beach, he attempted to flex his muscles. As he, along with many other boys during this trip, was shirtless it is theorized that he felt the need to augment his flaccid body appearance. According to Alex Skrypek (the sole witness and a trustworthy source), "Sabina asked me, 'Was Robert trying to flex when he walked past me on the beach today?'" Understanding the gravity of the situation, Alex has refused to publicize his response to Sabina's question. However, he assures the Wiki that Robert's claim that he wasn't flexing at Sabina, rather celebrating a touchdown he scored following a game of football, is entirely untrue, citing the Social Higgs Boson as a reason that Robert would want the alternative, and falsified, narrative to be propagated.

The "Rocketman" Fiasco
The Rocketman Fiasco can trace its origin back to the meticulous planning of the Collet Administration and group leader Christine. The two parties decided that the grade would be seeing a movie, and gave four options for the students to choose from: Rocketman, Godzilla, and one other movie. The vast majority of Dog Squad members (although the concrete and organized structure of the group was no longer in place, the group continued to operate almost as if it was) chose to see the movie Rocketman. However, New Dog Squad recruit Charlie Plym (infamous for believing homosexuals choose their sexual orientation), did not know the plot of the movie. Robert Rendine enlightened Charlie of the homosexual themes present throughout the movie, proceeding to ruthlessly taunt Charlie Plym.

After finishing its movie, the Godzilla group returned to a crisis on the bus. The majority of the Rocketman group, occupying the seats in the rear of the bus, were sobbing. However, a few members, including John McGarry, instead looked exasperated at the excessive crying. Shortly after the bus had departed the movie theater, trouble-maker Theo Carlston went into a frenzy of desperately searching for his bag. He concluded that it was not on the bus, and immediately contacted Carol Collet for assistance. She lent him her phone to contact the movie theater, however, the call was interrupted by the over-zealous sobbing coming from behind Theo. Theo sprung into action, screaming at them, "Shut the f*ck up! I'm trying to make a f*cking call right now!" Despite its valiant effort, the Rocketman Group could not stop itself from crying at the truly tragic film.

The Bike Travesty
Leader, intellectual, hero, thinker, and humanitarian, Alex Skrypek, suffered nearly life-threatening injuries while on the Cape Cod Trip. Already suffering from damage sustained during the Breaking of Bones on the Penultimate Week, bike malfunctions caused additionally injuries and temporary scarring on his legs, arms, and hands. However, with perseverance, determination, and pure grit, he pushed through (although sustaining multiple other injuries before the end of the Cape Cod Trip). It is important to note, however, that the bike malfunctions embarrassingly were not solved by Alex Skrypek himself, but by fellow Asian Alliance member, George Cheung.

The Slap
Nearing the end of the Cape Cod Trip, several students were playing football on the beach, including, but not limited to: George McCain, George Cheung, Dax Bischof and Sabina Di Pietro. George McCain was lined up against All-American cornerback "Asian Thunder" Cheung, with 5-star recruit Dax "DB12" Bischof at quarterback. Once the ball was snapped, George McCain sprinted five yards vertically, then cut hard to the right. Exploiting this fatal mistake, George Cheung slapped George McCain on the ass, with the devastating strike rumored to be equivalent to 5,000+ Joules. Still in shock, George McCain was not able to fight through the pain, dropping the ball (although it should be noted the ball was perfectly thrown). However, after catching the ball, George McCain collapsed onto the sand, desperately clenching his ass. Following inspection from an on-site medical professional, it was determined that although he had not sustained multiple bone fractures, a collapsed kidney, nor severe internal bleeding he was in significant pain.

Ramifications of the Slap
Aside from the extensive injuries sustained by George McCain, there were several other major effects of George Cheung's slap. Although the link is not 100% proven, scientists have come to the consensus that the slap precipitated a June 8th earthquake in the greater Massachusetts Region (magnitude 2.8).

Memorable Events and Quotes

 * During a kayaking venture in Cape Cod, President Nicholas T. Brodie shrieked a scathing slight towards Robert, calling him a "red headed ginger baboon retard" following a "drive-by splashing" of his canoe with Jackson Jones